Eid Mubarook!!

Now I've had my moan and groan...

Eid today was somewhat like a normal day, but with weird occurrences:

• Should Eid be today or tomorrow? - This discussion has never occurred for Eid Al-Adha, it was generally understood that Eid is celebrated the day after Hajj
• Saddam Hussein's execution

Other then the above, I spent my time:

• Cleaning the house
• Getting clothes ready for tomorrow, whilst doing so relaying my opinion that Eid should have been celebrated today.
• Having my car washed, and having an Eid date, and Saddam Hussein discussion with a few brothers who also decided to have their car washed
• Shopping at Tesco - brought a trampoline!!! I'm gona have soooooo much fun!
• Going back to Vali's (car wash place) to change my magic tree from a men's Cologne fragrance, to what I refer to as 'the pink one'; the rose fragrance one :O)

Other then that, my brother has fallen ill. Fever - the works!

• Still haven't plucked my eyebrows
• Still haven't waxed my arms
• Still not decided what to wear tomorrow
• Oh crap!

Do I sound like a pessimist BTW?

In the News: The Execution of Saddam Hussein

No matter Who we are, Where it happens, or How it happens.

"To Him we belong, to Him we shall return"

Firstly, might I stress the following facts:

• It was Eid today
• This should have taken place within 30 days of his trial
• This execution occurred between 30-40 days of the trial
• The West used to be sh*t scared of Saddam!

I have mixed feelings regarding the demise of Saddam Hussein. When I looked at him over the lest few years, I saw a helpless old man unable to say or do anything to clear his name. He around was the age of my grandfather, and was most likely suffering from the pangs of oldage. What if his intentions to make Iraq a prosperous country were true? What if he was carrying out punishments from within the Shariah? Is he still a tyrant?

This execution should not have occurred on Eid, a day of celebration. Isn't this againt the Islamic Shari'ah? Below is the link of a dialogue of the Judge Haddad who oversaw the execution of Saddam.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6220087.stm

"US President George W Bush hailed the execution as "an important milestone" on the road to building an Iraqi democracy, but warned it would not end the deadly violence there"

[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6219861.stm]

How many innocent civilians have died as a result of their initial invasion for the so-called 'Weapons of Mass destruction'? Which was later deemed a 'mistake'.

Eid Al-Adha: Celebrating Hajj and distributing Qurbani

Was Hajj yesterday, which makes it Eid today. Doesn't it? According to many Mosques around London (namely the Pakistani Mosques, apparently), around 28 in number - v's two others (RPM and LMC - only the main mosques?!), Eid should be celebrated on tomorrow. Hayes Islamic Cultural and Community Centre (The HICC) have in fact permitted Eid Jumu'ah to take effect on both days, Saturday for the Somalians, and Sunday for the rest of the community.

I spent the best part of yesterday trying to figure out when Eid should be celebrated. In my heart, I felt it should be today, but according to brother-dear, we should go with the majority. Firstly, I didn't understand why this may be the case, and anyone who listened got an ear full of whats about to come next, so you may as well get an eye-full!

Hajj Friday = Eid Saturday! It's not rocket science is it? Maybe it's not so straight forward? Apparently the moon didn't show itself at the beginning of the month until a day after Saudi. Okay, I get that. But surely, Eid Ul-Adha is a celebration of Hajj right? I've been wrecking my brains all day over this, how could this be? HOW COULD THIS BE?

Conclusion: Maybe the Greenwich meantime isn't the 'centre of the earth'. As Muslims we pray towards the Ka'ba right? Every single muslim faces towards the Qibla. And as we travel there for our pilgrimage, and it is the Ultimate House of Allah (swt), maybe, just MAYBE... the day begins there. So when it's 12am 10 Dhul Hijjah in Medina, it's 9pm 8 Dhul-Hijjah in the UK (draw a circle here for diagrammatic ease, write 'UK' at 11 o'clock, and 'Medina' at 1 o'clock, then draw an arrow from Medina to UK around the circle) - so the sun rotates around the world for the rest of the day... few hours later... Pakistan 10 Dhul Hijjah, then Australia 10 Dhul-Hijjah, then USA, then UK. If that is the case, why are Pakistan and Bangladesh celebrating Eid on Monday?!

*Note, comments in this article are unauthenticated opinions.

Uncle Siddique

With Lala gee passing away just a month ago, and others just before him including:

• Baji Farah - Aug 00
• My Dad - Oct 04
• My grandmothers brother Jan 05
• Mami Naat (Obaids' Zakias' Mum) 05
• Auntie Syria - June 06
• Lala G - Nov 06
• Uncle Siddique - Dec 06

It seems like the elders are almost dropping like flies. So Uncle Siddique's time to go wasn't a great shock, nor is it as surreal as Lala Gs', or even Auntie Syrias'. Maybe because I didn't really interact as with him as much? Or maybe due to a different Aqeeda, a subconscious prejudice?

All I can recall is a really tall guy, tight curly hair - not sure about a bald patch? A tash like Adolf Hitler and quite firm in speech towards his family. No one has ever said a wrong word about him. MashaAllah, a good man.

Must have done something right in his lifetime to have passed away whilst placing his Ihram at Hajj! SubhaanAllah, what a way to go. Having just performed Wudu, Ihram already in place. Wow, can you imagine the Janazah? Millions of Muslims praying for you as you depart!

To Him we belong, & to Him we shall return. May Allah the Almighty grant Uncle Siddique a high place in Jannah Al-Firdous. Ameen.

(Question: Would he still be in need of a ghusal?)

BEST KIDS' EID SHOW ON UNITY TV!!!

MashaAllah, The Red Topi Team have put in so much effort. May Allah reward them. Look out for Imran's bit (I did the research)

Phases in Life

Yesterday was the day that marked the rest of my life. It was my last day at EDS. EDS was a massive part of my life that I won't ever forget. It was my first full-time job after Uni, and my step into HR as well as my 3rd job. In the midst of this was my 8 months at United Biscuits, which I think was a stepping stone for me. I'm not sure it was the best move for my career to return to EDS. But I guess now, as a rule... I won't ever return to anything I've left, not at least in exactly the same capacity (that goes for Mr. B too! - Unless ofcourse he comes back with his parents this time... like.. yeh right!!). But again, it's the people that lured me back, oh and Subway! And the 10 min drive in... Alhumdulillah tho, I've met two new great people - Satti and Saima, with whom I hope I'll remain good friends.

At first, Saima comes across as a typical Slough girl. Straightened hair, make-up... And the facial attitude to match. But upon conversing with her, you will find sensitivity to culture, an interest in Islam and high principles. She will do whats right, and slap the wrong. A very strong minded individual, full of smiles and much love for her family and friends - oh and Amar!

With Satti, what you see is what you get. Very level headed. You can see how her level headedness, and calm nature obtained her the position of 2nd Tier Advisor at the salary she is currently receiving. She speaks very professionally yet in a very soft tone, and loves compliments! (who doesn't?) ;o)

I met many people whose character will stay with me, and have in some ways formed a part of me - in my memories, in my own character. Of course, there are those who will remain with me (as above).

This year has been a bit of a wierd one. First and foremost was my relationship with Mr. B. On.. Off... On... Off.... It's odd that I met Mr. B on my 1st EDS leaving do, and we finished around the same time I left EDS 2nd time round. The turning point of the year would be my return to EDS - higher salary, better benefits. But now that I'm leaving, I somewhat lost. Altho I'm anxious about finding a new job, its not a great worry for the moment Alhumdulillah. And yes, I would like to get married - but again it's not a great necessity.

For once in a long time, I have no worries. I'm not thinking about something. My brain is resting! I have nothing to moan about, to talk about. I'm bored!

It's like I'm in limbo. Like I should have felt like between Uni and getting a job, but I didn't really get a chance. So InshaAllah, I'll make the most of this time. This is my time.

Elfamorphosis

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=01444f3d703e5e91e341d90G06122106

:o)

Book: Sword of Allah | Khalid Bin Al-Waleed

A Biographical study of the Greatest Military General in History

"Women will no longer be able to give birth to the likes of Khalid bin Al-Waleed" Abu Bakr (ra)

I've just started reading this book, looks like a good read & guess what? the author of the book doesn't live far from my home village in Pakistan. Lieutenant General A.I Akram wrote this book to fill in a 'void' in history books - A detailed description of the famous battles of Islam written by a Trained Military Mind. He travelled to the lands where KBW fought, and may have even tread in the exact same spot as the Sword of Allah. Can you imagine that? Or even in the same spot as the Prophet (saw) once stood, or even gave a Khutbah!! [wowee... I'm so excited!]

The book although historical, reads pretty much like a novel. It tells the story allowing the reader to create an image in their minds. A bit of a break from the norm. InshaAllah, I might even finish reading all 458 pages of it! [takes deep breath...] Here goes!

Islam: Strengthening Emaan

A really good article looking at bettering ourselves for the sake of Allah & all those around us. Points 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 really hit home; as they reflect upon controlling ourselves against spare of the moment thoughts and ideas. I.e. Emailing and bugging Mr. E?!

I'll get there in the end. And I'll InshaAllah be a much better person then I was before. In losing Emaan, there is much else to lose, including; Yourself, your sanity, the people you love around you, the protection of Angels and if you go too far... Allah himself.

Strengthening the Motive of Reason & Religion
By Imaam ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Taken from: Uddat as-Sabirin wa Dhakhirat ash-Shakirin Translated by Nasiruddin al-Khattaab (Abridged Translation)

In the battle between reason/religion and whims/desires, we have the following weapons at our disposal:

1. We should remember the glory and greatness of Allaah, and feel that He is too great to be sinned against as He is All-Seeing and All-Hearing. Whoever thinks of the greatness of Allaah will never be at ease in committing wrong actions.

2. If we claim to love Allaah, then we should not disobey Him, because of that love. A person should be obedient to the One he claims to love. Those who refrain from committing wrong action out of their love for Allaah are of the highest status in His sight, as are those who worship Him out of love for Him. There is a great difference between the one who obeys Allaah and abstains from wrong action Out of love, and the one who does so out of fear of punishment.

3. We should think of the blessings and favours of Allaah, as a decent and noble person would never act against the one who has been treating him kindly - Only base and ignoble people do such a thing. If we think of the blessings and favours of Allaah, we will realise that we should not respond by going against His commands and committing wrong action.

4. We should think of the wrath and punishment of Allaah, as He will be angry with the person who persists in committing wrong action. Nothing can stand in the way of the consequences of His anger, least of all this weak slave of His.

5. We should think of what the person who commits wrong action has to lose, in this world and the next. It should be sufficient to think of the loss of Eemaan (faith), of which the smallest amount is worth much more than everything in this world. How can anyone be willing to lose his Eemaan in return for some brief moment of pleasure the consequences of which might last forever? In a saheeh hadeeth, the Prophet (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery.” Commenting on this hadeeth, one of the Sahaabah said: “His Eemaan will be dragged out of him until it goes over his head like a cloud. If he repents, then his Eemaan will return to him.”

6. We should relish the idea of defeating the shaytaan and being victorious over him, because overcoming him, and our whims and desires, is a thing of joy and carries a great reward. It is like taking medicine and being rewarded with restoration to good health.

7. We should bear in mind the reward and compensation which Allaah has promised to those who control their whims and desires, and abstain from that which is haraam.

8. We should think of the special companionship of Allaah, as He has told us:

“Allaah is with those who patiently persevere.” (Al-Baqarah 2:153)

“For Allaah is with those who restrain themselves and those who do good.” (An-Nahl 16:128)

“For verily Allah is with those who do right.” (Al-Ankabut 29: 69)

9. We should be ever mindful of death, which could come upon us at any time, suddenly and without warning

10. We should stop thinking of falsehood and bad ideas. Even if bad thoughts cross our minds, we should not let them stay, otherwise they may become hopes and wishes which we may act upon, and harm ourselves and others in the process.

11. We should gradually strengthen our religious motive in fighting whims and desires. Once we have tasted the joy of defeating those whims and desires, then our determination and willpower will grow stronger.

12. We should direct our thoughts towards contemplation of the signs of Allaah which He has encouraged us to think about, whether they are in the Qur’aan or in the universe around us. If such thoughts are constantly in our hearts and minds, this will help us to shun the whispering of the shaytaan. There is no greater loser than the one who, instead of thinking of Allaah, His Book, His Prophet and his Sahaabah, dwells on shaytaan and the ideas of shaytaan.

13. We should remember how short our stay on this earth is. No-one would want to feel that all he has achieved in this life is the worst kind of deeds, except a person who has no spiritual ambition, whose heart is dead and who is careless. Such a person will ultimately regret his deeds when he realises that, far from benefiting him, they will lead to punishment. Even the person who has many good deeds to his credit will feel that sense of regret when he realises that he could have done even more.

14. We should know that Allaah has created us to live an eternal life with no death, a life of pride and ease with no humiliation, a life of security with no fear, a life of richness with no poverty, a life of joy with no pain, a life of perfection with no flaws. Allaah is testing us in this world with a life that will end in death, a life of pride that is accompanied by humiliation and degradation, a life that is tainted by fear, where joy and ease are mixed with sorrow and pain. So many people are mistakenly seeking an easy life of power and pleasure in this world, but most of them never manage to achieve it, and those who do, enjoy it only for a brief time before it vanishes. The Prophets called people to an eternal life of plenty, and whoever answers their call will have the best life in this world, better than the life of kings and their followers, for zuhd in this life is true richness. This is something which the shaytaan greatly envies the believers.

Merely knowing the facts that we have outlined above is not enough. We have to strive and do our utmost to achieve our aim and attain perfection. The best way to do so is to put a stop to the habits that are controlling our lives, as these are the main obstacles which prevent us from succeeding. We should avoid places of fitnah and temptation, as the Prophet (sall-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us: “Whoever hears of the Dajjal should keep away from him.” The best way to protect ourselves from wrong is to keep away from anything that could lead to it. One of the favourite tricks of the shaytaan, which deceives everyone except those who are clever enough to see it, is to show a person some goodness in a wrong thing, and call him to go towards what is good; when the person gets close to it, he falls into the trap.

Food: McDonald's (Fast Food)

Fast food outlets such as McDonald's get a lot of bad press, especially due to recent health conscious social concerns. It is in fact, like all food - okay if eaten in moderation, hmm.. okay how about not very frequently?

It is very bad for your health historically, it's entire menu consisted of fried product with next to no vegetable at all (not including the humble spud). It now has an array of Salads, fruits, and pure orange juice.

But let us step away from the obvious. McDonald's (and all major fast-food outlets) must be one of the most hygienic restaurants going. With such a high food turn over, you're guaranteed to receive all of the following:

• Fresh Food
• Just cooked & therefore hot food
• Being in the trade for so long, one might suggest they are experts at cooking well cooked food too - so less chance of food poisoning?
• For all those vegetarians, they cook their fries in a completely separate area, and their fish / vege products are also cooked separate from the meat products.

Okay, not exactly posh. But at least you know what you're eating. I wouldn't suggest munching on fast food on a daily basis, but once in a blue moon? Go on ... treat yourself!

Baaah Humbug!

Chrismas carols in the office? Like c'mon yaar! If you thought I weren't potty already... these are driving me round the bend!

Eid Cards - Bid'ah?

Is the handing out of Eid Cards bid'ah? Yes it's an innovation. But then, how about sending 'Eid Texts'?

Not all Bid'ahs are bad. Take for example the use of Tasbeeh to count the number of recitations, or Harakahs (lines and dots) in the Qur'an.

In the case of Eid Cards, I can understand why one might suggest it is following the commercialisation of the west. However, we're not doing so in order to copy them or any religion. I think if you send a card or text to a person with whom you wouldn't usually converse, maybe you might increase love between the two. Maybe it could be classed as a type of gift? If there is a personal message, a poem, a quote? It doesn't cost too much, but it might have more of an impact then the gift of lotions and potions (unless they're stupid like me and use creams that cost £35).

But don't forget, if you receive any gift from anyone, it is in fact a gift from Allah. So we should be grateful no matter how big or small. It's the thought that counts!

Illness: Cold and Flu

The demise of humanity: The Cold/Flu virus. It doesn't help when your doctors surgery doesn't pick up the phone to make an appointment. So off to Superdrug I went, sneezing and spluttering all the way... The vision of 'Moses water split' comes to mind - everyone steps out of your way when you've a bright red runny nose! ;o)

If it wasn't bad enough to be hit with such an unkind freak of nature, as you approach Pharmacy desk it's already enough to make you feel dizzy without having to choose from the Red and Yellow packs of 'Lemsip Max' and 'Lemsip Max Plus', or the less obscure 'Superdrug own brand', in comparison to the navy colours 'Beechams All in one', or 'Beechams powder capsules'... What ever happened to 'it does what it says on the tin'? Or should I just get plain paracetamol? All of the above contain paracetamol by the way.Then there's the choice of throat lozenges - Strepsils, Halls Soothers, Lockets, tunes. I'm surprised Which? hasn't written a report on this yet.

Just to let you know... I came to the conclusion that the most expensive (Lemsip) isn't necessarily the best, and they all pretty much do the same thing. With Beechams on sale (just 20p dearer then Superdrug own brand), I settled for Beechams All in one, tho I struggle to accept there is much difference between Beechams All in One, and Beechams Powder capsule except one is in caplet form, and the other in a capsule - which by the way probably has animal derivatives. As for the throat lozenge - Strepsiles, why? I like the taste. Rocket science eh?

Music: Luther Vandross | Dance with my Father

Undoubtedly reminded me how my dad used to carry me upstairs to bed, whilst I pretended to be asleep. Or when he would come into my room when I told him I felt unwell and take his hand over my forehead to the back of my head. When he'd call me 'debit'. When I used to suppor Man United, he'd purposely take the mick when they were losing... Cricket... His cap.. His Trainers... his Joker-like smile... his Honda Accord... his GOLD TOOTH... shopping for groceries... he mole on his right cheek & the one on his forehead... "con-for-table"... his 'trendy' glasses... heated cups of super-strong tea... custard creams... going to work on a late shift, then meeting me in the morning (still awake for doing last minute assignments)... when he first picked Tigger up... biting my cheeks... his grey beard... his snoring... playing with Tigger getting tigger angry... the houses... his determination... his greetind when he met someone, it was like he'd not met them for years, even if it was just yesterday..."OH HELLO! Mr. J!!" (my dad's best mate)... noticing when I was upset (only he knew when I was upset)... telling me off after he's been nagged by mum :O) ... hugging my mum... 'Whats Valentines?'... His Shirwani... Giving marriage advice + TQ... when he brought me that 'Anna-Kart Kitchen' for Eid (when I was 6)... his Samsung... £50 in a Birthday card... his face when I told him I failed my A'Levels... his face when I passed my Driving Test on Eid & he opened the door... Hmm, his face when I told him I passed my degree with a 2.1... shouting at my brother (not me - mwah hahaha) when we were fighting... when he laughed after I crashed the sunny... saying the 'F' word after someone tried road rage!... driving me to and from the train station for Uni... driving me to work (cpw)... asking me to marry TQ when he found out about his illness... the pipe being cut into him to take our the excess fluid... "Most men are lucky to have just one woman in their life to love them... I have 3 who I know loved me dearly... My Mother (May Allah grant her Jannah Al-Firdous.. My Wife.. and My Daughter"... The tears he didn't cry when he knew he was to die... his strength of character... Ouch! His slaps!!... taking me to Homeopathy for treatment of Excema (5-7 years old)... Dad, Grandfather and Uncle JB sitting and chatting whenever they got together... Eid... Kit Kat... Banana Milkshakes... 2 bikes - Coco + Nitro... Building the extension... Building the Garage... Quaker Oats... His Curly hair... his arguements with my mum for cutting his curly hair off!... his big eyes... his hands... his feet... his final meal - Boiled rice and Dhaal... His 'if its broke, then fix it' attitude... praying in the doorway... the last Shawwal fasts ("Ssh.. don't tell your mum I'm doing these fasts...!")... Taking my 3T tape... calling from work to check cricket scores on teletext... kissing his prickly stubble...

If I could steal one final glance of him... I'd love to pray with my father again, recite the Qur'an under him... I'd make a du'a that it would never end.

Hajj is in the Air...

It's that time of the Islamic Year again. Hajj has come around faster then we can say 'Labaik Allah Huma Labaik!'

[Talbiyah is recited throughout pilgrimage: "Labbayka Allaahumma Labbayk" (My God, I have responded to You). "Labbayka Laa Shareeka Laka Labbayk" (I have responded to You, and I proclaim that there is no other god besides You; I have responded to You)]

Muslims from all over the world are preparing themselves for the journey of a lifetime. Packing their bags, memorising du'as, calling their nearest and dearest for forgiveness with the mission for their Hajj to be accepted by Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Kind. Allah guides whom he shall. May Allah accept all our du'a. Ameen.

Once in a lifetime, Hajj and `Umrah are decreed for those who can afford it (3:97). Hajj must be observed during the four Sacred Months - Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram, Safar, & Rabi` I (12th, 1st, 2nd, 3rd months of the Islamic calendar) (2:197; 9:2, 36). The first part of the pilgrimage is called `Umrah. `Umrah can be performed by itself any time during the year. However, performing `Umrah by itself is not a substitute for Hajj.

The Hajj step by step: To carry out the pilgrimage rituals a pilgrim needs to be in a state of Ihram - a special state of ritual purity. A pilgrim does this by making a statement of intention to perform the Hajj, wearing special white clothes (which are also called Ihram), and obeying certain regulations. During the Hajj, pilgrims are forbidden to:

• Engage in marital relations
• Shave or cut their nails
• Use cologne or scented oils
• Kill or hunt anything
  Fight or argue
• Women must not cover their faces, even if they would do so in their home country
• Men may not wear clothes with stitching.

[Ihram clothing indicates the cloth which a person wears into their grave. A plain white sheet without stitching. With the head shaven, all men look very similar symbolising equality in Islam, that Allah looks at the person from within - not their exterior. Wealth is not apparent in a state of Ihram, the only thing that differentiates from one person to another is piety - as when one enters their grave, it is only their good deeds that are present and therefore patience and gratitude is of uppermost importance during Hajj]

DAY 1: FIRST STEP
Pilgrims travel to Mina on 8 Dhul Hijjah and remain there until dawn the next morning.

DAY 2: STANDING AT ARAFAT
Pilgrims then travel to the valley of Arafat and stand in the open praising Allah and meditating.
At the end of the day, pilgrims travel to Muzdalifa where they spend the night. Pilgrims gather up stones to use the next day.

DAY 3: STONING THE DEVIL
In the morning, pilgrims return to Mina and throw seven stones/pebbles at pillars called Jamaraat. These represent the devil. The pillars stand at three spots where Satan is believed to have tempted the Prophet Abraham. Pilgrims sacrifice an animal (usually a sheep or goat). This commemorates the incident related in the Old Testament when the Prophet Abraham was about to sacrifice his son and God accepted a sheep instead.

Pilgrims shave their heads or cut some hair from it and return to Mecca for a further Tawaf, around the Kaaba. They then return to Mina, where they spend the night.

DAYS 4 & 5
Pilgrims spend time in Mina, stoning the pillars each day. If a pilgrim has been unable to return to Mecca to walk around the Kaaba, he or she does so on the fourth or fifth day.

[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4180965.stm]

Bonus Fudge Up... Forgive and Forget?

The facts:

• Bonus promised at £1,333.00 in writing about a month ago - legally binding document. For anyone who stays till the end of their redundancy consulatation period.
• Actual amount paid is £1,050 (before Tax & N.I) (6 days before last day)
• Wage was deduction without notification, was pointed out by a collegue enquiring about her pay with payroll
• Manager calls a meeting to tell us she 'mis-converted' the amounts from US Dollar to Pound Sterling, suggesting that is all that was provided to pay towards the bonuses - having allegedy spoken with her boss who apperently said "So what..."

Do I:

• Write a formal grievance against the situation and demand that company to honour the original amount? If I take it forward, will she get the sack? Or will this merely be deducted from her overall bonus?
• Let bygones be bygones, maybe it was an honest mistake? How would I feel had I made a mistake and a personal grievance was set against myself?

NB: We weren't notified until after the payment has been made - making this an unlawful deduction of wage.

1. In Christianity, if you're slapped you should turn your face to be slapped again. In that you become an extremely forgiving person. In which case, you open yourself up people to take advantage of you.
2. The Christianity belief is against the Shariyah - eye for an eye.
3. According to the Shariyah and common law, the original document is legally binding. However it is possible for amendments to be made to contracts prior to final payment.
4. For the person at fault to suggest 'they will be personally hurt' or 'this may cost me my job', is emotional black mail.

As the payment has been made and deductions have taken place without due notice, this is in breach of contract, both according to Shariyah law and common law. I am within my rights to make a grievance at this time. Furthermore, the grievance would be against the situation, not the person who made the error and therefore they should not take it as a personal matter. It is a request that they honour the original agreement.

To avoid a confrontation or to gain a better understanding of how the error was made, one might suggest a display of the calculation. Alternatively, the current amount could be incorporated to the overall redundancy payment in order to avoid Tax and N.I deductions.

Joke of the day: Phone call...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free SPEAKER function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted so much last year is back on the market. They're asking £990,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000...

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

It's good to laugh at yourself once in a while...

And as an honouring to the above title, here's what I'm currently laughing at myself (and my life about) about:

• Being told I only attend events to meet people as opposed to gaining Islamic Knowledge - I don't think I'll get anywhere with 6 year old kids honey unless I wait till their 18, and as much I would like to help better themselves I dooon't think that would be viable ;o)
• Meeting people who pretend to be something they're not - Like why? Suggesting one looks 24 when they clearly look their age? An E.I lookalike? c'mon yaar... But he had a good heart, so I'll give him that & I don't blame him given the fact that he wants to get married. It is quite upsetting in fact, not amusing at all.
• Being told we'll be given a bonus for staying and the figure - to later discover the figure is incorrect. The figure was given in writing, and therefore legally binding? Legal advice obtained and WE WILL BE TAKING THIS TO THE TOP grrr...
• And last, but not least... my feelings towards Bibi. For the first time, I spoke to someone about it who basically described my personality to a 'T'. Unless I find that 'One in a million' person, I'm not happy - if they don't have that 'thing', I don't give them a second thought or even a chance. And that's what I found in Bibi - that spark & as a result, altho I was fully aware of his faults, I have turned a blind eye to them - because I know they are things that can be resolved. Money? Comes and goes. Guantanemo Bay? Everyone needs a break, and that is something I could have handled. Unfortunately, he's also looking for that 'One in a million' and I'm not that person.

C'est La Vie

This time last year I was on cloud nine and could easily say 'Alhumdulilah I've found the right person'. Okay, so he was a bit rough around the edges - granted. But he had something about him which I guess every other girl he has considered also saw. I can't say now that I'm indifferent, as we're all human and we've all been made equal to another. Daily lives may differ slightly, but fundamently we're all after a goal.

For most the ultimate goal is a Supa Dupa Hereafter (thats for those who believe in the afterlife). But for now - "the Here", our lives are quite similarly mapped (according to the culture in which we live ofcourse). I.e. The UK - Schooling, possibly College, maybe Uni, Career and Marriage.

Throughout our lives we meet people of all walks of life who all leave a footprint, or pin prick to our hearts - whether we take the time to get to know them and share experiences, or if they happened to glance up to smile whilst walking past. And just when you think you've met the pick of the bunch, someone comes along and quite literally steals your heart. With the promise of forever, and togetherness, in the journey of what we call 'life' - companionship is what we all search for whether we're 5 years of age running around in the playground, we look out for someone to run with... or 25 years of age running around our responsibilities, we look for someone to share our responsibilities with.

The topic of the present - or should I say my present seems to be marriage (per all my recent blogs). Given the numerous conversations with my family, friends and people who generally enquire. The frequency of these discussions seem to be more then 3 times per week now, and each time I follow the discussion it covers the following grounds:

• Why I'm not married yet
• Who I've met their faults
• The bad decisions I've made (according to them) i.e. let certain prospectives go
• My character

This has given me the chance to open up to a couple of people and request their advice on the current situation.

The Noble Qur'an: Surah 95 | At-Tin | The Fig/The Figtree

In the Name of Allâh, the MostBeneficent, the Most Merciful

95:1 By the fig, and the olive,
Waaltteeni waalzzaytoon(i)

95:2 And the Mount of Sinai,
Watoori seeneen(a)

95:3 And this City of security (Makkah)
Wahatha albaladi al-ameen(i)

95:4 Verily, We created man of the best stature (mould)
Laqad khalaqna al-insana fee ahsanitaqweemi(n)

95:5 Then We reduced him to the lowest of the low
Thumma radadnahu asfala safileen(a)

95:6 Save those who believe (in Islâmic Monotheism) and do righteous deeds, then they shall have a reward without end (Paradise)
Illa allatheena amanoowaAAamiloo alssalihati falahum ajrun ghayrumamnooni(n)

95:7 Then what (or who) causes you (O disbelievers) to deny the Recompense (i.e. Day of Resurrection)?
Fama yukaththibuka baAAdu bialddeen(i)

95:8 Is not Allâh the Best of judges?
Alaysa Allahu bi-ahkami alhakimeen(a)

[Translation by Dr. Muhsin Khan]

The humble fig. Humble, yet so great in the eyes of Allah (swt) that a Surah was named after it.

I really miss Bibi

:' (

Hot Drink: Chai Latte from Cafe Nero

Take a tea bag, some Chai Spice and add Cafe Latte Milk.

Hey presto - Chai Latte. MMmm.. Yummy!

Another one bites the dust: 35 yr old Bangladeshi

Hmm... I think I'm becoming desperate. In order to take myself out of that box, I am officially not looking for marriage anymore! Okay?! I mean, c'mon - a 35 year old. As J suggested - there must be something wrong with him if he's not married yet. But that sounds way too arrogant & would totally rebuke any instigations towards Qadr Allah.

Conclusion: There's never anything wrong with anyone. If something doesn't happen as planned, then it just wasn't meant to happen. I believe everyone has been put on this Earth for a purpose & everything we go thru, all hardships and so on, qualifies us and trains us up for the bigger picture. With regards to marriage, there is someone out there for everyone InshaAllah. Allah will never allow anyone to be alone. In the race against time, we shouldn't forget about whats happening around us, and try not to step on too many toes in our aim to win. I.e. It's not all about me.

Some might suggest I'm looking for a Bibi replacement. And if I am - subconsciously, do you blame me? I'm not looking now until I'm totally over Bibi - heart, mind and soul.

However, the reason why I didn't pursue this one:

• He claimed to look like Enenrique Iglesias, which come to think of it - I think Bibz looked a bit like him :o). Maybe he did in his hay day, but honey. Not now, sorry.
• Erm... Immature, some of what he said was really off-putting, and insinuating. Not the type of character I would expect from someone with a beard.
• 35 going on 24 wannabe person. No, he doesn't look 24 as he so claimed over the phone, and in person he claimed to look 26?! Like ... DUUUUuude! Try watching that programme 10 Years younger if you decide to provide such void information.
• His ambitions didn't coincide with mine.
• And with a raw temper like mine, I don't think he would tolerate it so much.
• He did have a good heart tho, and at the age of 35 - I don't really blame him for trying.

And thus... another one bites the dust.

Poem: Smile a while...

I can't believe I've not posted this yet!

Smile a while till another smiles
And soon there'll be miles and miles and miles of smiles,
All because YOU smiled!

Race: Golf 1.9 TDI v's Saab 9000

From Prologic Park roundabout to the traffic lights in the middle of Stockley Park.

HA HA!! I won!

After the lights I decided not to race, so the sore loser cut me up & nearly hit my front bumper.

How Rude!

Final Email to Bibi

I can't seem to diminish thoughts of Bibi. It's been a year now since I met him, and I still feel like I'd like to be with him. I know now this will not be the case, and need to distance my thoughts of him. I have therefore him a final email (see below), and hopefully this might generate some kind of closure in my own mind.

I can relate this only to the feeling of losing someone whom you love, or care about dearly. Someone whom you'd like to be part of their life, and make change and possibley help them in some way? Not saying Bibi needed my help. But again, losing a friend either thru lifes ups and downs, or just life itself can be very exhausting & realigning your thoughts to consider not being with someone whom you (even if only for a split second) started to build your life around is an arduous task and can be physically draining.

How do I feel right now? Like someone's chewed me up and spat me out? Like the Angel of Death is removing my soul? That sickening feeling in my stomach? Refraining from running into the loo's to stop myself from crying. A kind of depression I think - when a tear rolls down my face each time I think of him. Anyway, that's enough. I'm not going down that route, and I will never be a victim of depression.

What is depression anyhow? It's your naffs / shaitaan constantly reminding you of something from your past - a bad deed? something or someone you loved going away? That's life. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. In which case, I'm made of steel ;o) Superman eat your heart out... there's a new chick in town!

Letter to Bibi:

When I leave EDS InshaAllah, I'm intending to leave everything behind, all thoughts all emails etc etc…

So I'd like to take this final opportunity to ask for forgiveness for where it's required. I know I've acted in an utterly weird manner over the past few months, which I'm not sure where the heck that came from. So maybe I am like the others whom I so tried not to be like! SubhaanAllah.

Take Care of yourself Ej. And no matter what you think, it wasn't your physical that I was interested in but your will to try better and become a better person & a personal whim to grow with someone who has similar mental attributes. So when I suggest you're the best, I mean it in that context & having apparently been blessed with a "Good Judge of Character" (can you see my head growing?!) I can only suggest so where it's required. i.e. I weren't saying it to entice you back, but not to mention the fact that it's the honest truth - but also to make you feel better about yourself.

And contrary to popular belief - I was actually happy to see you last Thursday - Just weren't sure what was going thru your head… Like oh crap, not her again ... Not to mention complete déjà vu of emotions after seeing you @ the Hamza Yusuf chit chat.

You do deserve happiness. Everyone does. Just make sure you don't loose the Barakah in your life, and if you feel yourself slipping try joining a Tajweed Class or something Deen orientated - so when you want to listen to the Qur'an in a beautiful melodic voice - all you have to do is recite - you'll be happy & so will Allah. It helps, trust me & it's really enjoyable as it's quite a difficult skill to master & it's a lot of fun when doing so in a group. Then you can record and play it back so when you listen to it, you're like - Whoa, is that me?! And when no-one's at home, you can shout it out - and this puts you on top of the world.

Again, try and recite Surah Al-Bakarah often or at least the last 10 verses. This will InshaAllah increase the Barakah in your life and… the rest is history. You know the score.. 4 Quls / Ayat Al-Kursi / Al-Fatihah / Ash-Shifa'a...

Ma Asalaam

I'm not hoping for a response. In fact I'm actually scared of him and hope he doesn't respond, and afraid of what I'll do should my emotions get the better of me again!

I pray I'll be able to leave him alone now, and most of all that he doesn't hate me after all this. I do love him, and I hope he will find someone who will make him happy. I mean really happy like I wanted him to be with me. Learning Tajweed together, bringing up independant successful and Islamic children - maybe adopt a child or two? Build an orphanage back home? educating each other, and our families to the right path... fulfilling that 1/2 of our deen... Seeing the world together... etc etc... blah blah blah... I know my dreams aren't unique. But they're still mine.

Funny that - when I first spoke with him, and he talked about having Sh. Hamza Yusuf pray our Nikah or having our Nikah done at the Ka'ba I asked him not to plan ahead, for fear of nothing happening. Wel.. look whose talking now! 2 months after he walked away, I'm still snowed under.

I do hope I'll meet him again - in Jannah InshaAllah - and see him all shiney faced and smiling that cheeky smile of his. I'd like to race my Unicorn against his Evo! No, make that Al-Buraaq (the beast upon which the Prophet saw travelled upon to the Seventh Heavens) v's his Evo!! Mwah ha ha ha ha.. who d'ya think'll win?? And then maybe go for a coffee in Borders Al-Jannah ;o) Ameen!!

This morning...

I woke up feeling like crap with the knowledge of:

• Getting to sleep so late and looking in the mirror to see these big BLACK bags
• Bibi hated my dark eyes
• I have a meeting with another potential today, having spoken to him over the past couple days my reservation(s) are that he's not Bibi :o(

The day seemed to get better as the minutes passed, and I won't forget that little Robin I spotted bobbing under the car - at first glance I thought it was the flicker of a cats tail who might be searching for shelter against the biting cold & out bounced a small Robin, red chested and proud to be cute!

Link of the day!

http://yugop.com/ver3/stuff/32/index.html

This is really cool! I'm hypnotized already.

What? Another Bangladeshi?!

35 year bengi dude seeks wife. Hmm... Interesting...

Seems a bit old, but having spoken to him he certainly doesn't act it. Used to work for the MOD but left due to his faith and sheer bordem of working in a office. (Don't blame ya mate!)

Now starting his own business as a carpenter and plumber.

If it doesn't work out between to two of us, good luck bro!

Another one bites the dust: Scottish Dude

Just when I said I'm taking myself off the market, someone comes a long. Alas, this one was also short-lived & in all honesty - maybe I'm being shallow now? But I'm not attracted to him :oS

Alhumdulillah, seemed to have some Islam within him but keeps calling me 'Monkey'?!

Like c'mon yaar!

Poem: May Allah give you...

May Allah give you

A rainbow for every storm
A smile for every tear
A blessing for every trial
A sweet song for every sigh
And the answer for every Du'a.

Ameen

Poem: The Value of a Woman

Be careful if you make a Woman cry
Because Allah counts her tears

A woman came from a man's rib
Not from his feet to be walked upon

Not from his head to be superior over
But from his side to be equal

Under the arm to be protected
And next to his heart to be loved :o)

In the News (Yesterday): Tornado hits London

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6219280.stm

How bizarre! Just to think, I used to work in Harlesden this time last year.

Be aware of new car-jacking scheme

Again, not sure how true this is. But just in case, let the wind do its job. Sometimes I think emails like these are providing food for thought for budding theives, and could be doing more damage then good?! (Says she whose inserted a blog about it!). Tempted to call Brian Molloy ;o)

You walk across the car park, unlock your car and get inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine and shift or put into reverse. You look into the rear-view mirror to back out of your parking space and you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.

So, you shift the gear stick back into park or neutral, unlock your doors and jump out of your car to remove that paper or whatever it is that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car that is when the car-jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off!! Your engine was running, you would have left your purse in the car and they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED IN GLASGOW AND MANCHESTER AND IS MAKING ITS WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!!!!!!

Just drive away and remove the paper later! It is stuck to your window and be thankful that you read this email. I hope you will forward this to friends and family especially to women! A purse contains all identification, and you certainly do NOT want someone getting your home address. They already HAVE your keys!!!

JUST BE AWARE AND TAKE CARE

Brian Molloy
Detective Constable
Force Intelligence Bureau
Strathclyde Police
0141 532 5867

[Email from Q: 7 Dec 06]

Pin number reversal (Good to know... God forbid!)

Not sure how true this is, and not about to try it out for fun. But if you're in such a predicament, you can only try it out...

Should you ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin number in reverse.

For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would input 4321. The ATM should subsequently recognise the backwards pin code.

Thereafter the machine will still give you the money as per our request, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediatly notified.

(Apparently), this information was broadcasted on TV suggesting it is seldom used.

Thanks Pam for your email, but what if the pin is 1221?

Russian Spy to be Buried as a Muslim

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2486268_1,00.html

May Allah's peace and blessings shelter him from the punishments of the grave, may he attain Jannah Al-Firdous. Ameen.

I wonder what it's like to be a professional spy? Whether this person commited anything which is wholly against the principles of Islam then to take the Shahadah at his death bed? What he would have been going through - tracing his steps back to where he consumed the poison, how and who was killing him - and whether he knew why he was being assasinated? Why he didn't take the Shahadah beforehand (Allah does guide whom he wills afterall)? Having been poisoned, is he classified as being a martyr? Not to mention the sickness of the stomach for which he could be considered a martyr also. Allah hu Alim.

Goodbyes

Goodbye's are draining, and although 99.9% of the time it's not something we would like to put ourselves through. They are inevitable. For your own peace of mind, and for what you think might help the other person in question.

This time it was an ongoing friendship which I would have loved to have continued, but as they say; A man and a woman cannot remain 'just friends' following a relationship. One or both of parties involved will always carry the flame which results in pain and heartache for either party involved.

Therefore I’ve come to a final decision to let this one go. Should he return to my life, I shall be the happiest person alive. However the articulation of confusion, coupled with the disagreement of the reason behind the split results (as has done in the past) in iniquitous expression of emotion.

The mind has a way of sensing what might happen should it not regulate the heart. It is fully aware of what could transpire as the past has a way of repeating itself. In this instance the hearts eagerness to be accepted was dumbfounded by the simple stroke of self-discipline.

The only way forward is therefore to say Good-bye, even if you want to say Hello. Maybe I was waiting for him to come back and say… ‘Wait, where are you going?’. But I know that is not to be.

So, in order to protect oneself from any further heartache – caused to myself by the way, which is inclusive of:

• Him being the first and last thing I think of when I wake up, and fall asleep
• Wanting the best for him – knowing that he doesn’t give a crap, constantly thinking of what he might be doing?
• Wondering if he was on good terms with his family
• Wondering how is grandmother is – how his family is coping (bit of dejavu following my fathers death)
• Constantly reminding myself that he doesn’t want me and never has, that there is no hope where he is concerned, that I should stop wasting my thoughts and energy on him & wanting the best for him.
• In the want not to be obsessive, I can feel myself becoming more and more compulsive in finding excuses to send emails and text messages. Sometimes looking for text forwards to forward him!! But when it comes to the crunch, when the number has been input, I delete it in the knowledge that my efforts are worthless.
• Constantly thinking; “Why the hell did I have to accuse him of cheating, in full knowledge that he wouldn’t”?

I really do hope he lives a good and prosperous life. That his emaan goes back to a level it once was. That he has that baby girl he has always dreamed of holding. That he looks at his wife in astonishment “Wow, are you really mine?”. InshaAllah.

Poem: Live it

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr /Mrs Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won.

Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfil your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.

Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life.

Take away the clutter.

Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.

Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

(And now think of all the DO's!!!)

Another one bites the dust: South African Dude

I think I'm getting a bit fed up with myself now. Needless to say, this guy isn't suitable for the job either. Boo hoo. If only all men were like Mr. Bibi, yes I have come to admit. I loved him even if he did shatter my heart 4 times in one year, I can still feel it breaking every now and again, but hey! at least I know I'm alive. Okay so what was the key?! Let me see:

• His Deen, he had it in him
• Love for family
• Our aspirations - not too indifferent
• His patience
• His heart, he did everything and thought with his heart - that's a rare trait something I've realised I've lost. InshaAllah, one day it will come naturally again
• Guantanamo Bay - that's what he called having to stay in on a Friday night instead of hitting the town with his mates
• Pulling faces, taking a pic and sending it to him
• He looked like Woverine from X-Men
• Tho I failed to see why the intermeidiery suggested Mr. Bibi has 'model-like' looks (apart from his body) - hence, it certainly wasn't love at first sight. I was soon devoured by his character which in essence made it difficult for me not to love him. It's whats within that counts. I probably wouldn't have looked twice had I seen him in Oxford Street.

I was on top of the world when I thought he was by my side. I really hope he finds someone who makes him feel that way. InshaAllah.

How did a blog about the South African Dude turn into one about Mr. Bibi??

Looking to get married

See RadioShak 16 November 06

http://radioshak.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_radioshak_archive.html

I was recently conversing with a friend, suggesting pretty much what RS has suggested here. Coming from a recruitment background, and in 'the game' for pretty much 5 years. Having met the pick of the bunch, I have come to realise that for 25 years of my life, I haven't 'needed' someone to get me through life and therefore anyone who enters my life today will be an addition, or a bonus shall we say who will compliment my actions, and InshaAllah I will compliment theirs.

Religion and Culture

http://radioshak.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_radioshak_archive.html (24 November 06)

Islam was created for all mankind. Taking into account of all cultures, and timescales. Therefore there is already one pure Islam. But it's the cultures around every one of us that creates the differences. Hence the four schools of thought which have more often then not, been geographically associated. Islam should not however be assimilated into the local culture in the fear that one is not accepted, as this would suggest that Islam as a religion is incomplete to any passer-by, which in fact in it's entirety, Islam is a culture within itself to which other cultures should succumb.

The Global Peace and Unity Event

I couldn't have said it better myself. Well... I think I could have, had I tried! ;o)

http://radioshak.blogspot.com/2006/12/global-peace-and-unity.html

GPU is an amazing event due to it's sheer size - 30,000 Muslims under one roof? WOW!! But I would suggest that they shouldn't try to run when they can bearly walk. With the same or very similar criticizms (on a much larger scale) as last year regarding the lack of organisation of people - some customers losing their £100 worth VIP ticket seats etc etc. However, it's very easy for us to sit back and look at others short comings when all we need to do is turn up.

It would take a lot of confidence for anyone to even suggest an event of such volume, not to mention the diversity of events that take place - from talks to lectures - to Halal hot dogs - to nasheeds. It seems that Islam Channel tried in their earnest to create a venue where 'one size fits all' where if it were a shop, it may be called 'Islam R Us'.

I take my hats off to those to created the idea; but maybe a little more thought should go into the practice.

Poem: Remember Remember 22 november (2006)

The Wait is finally over!
I think we'll be flying over Dover??
Then to Dubai we'll be set free
A country of endless adventure and mystery!

Quote

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

-Fran Lebowitz 1950

Book: Dear Beloved Son by Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali

A pocket sized gem. Full of snippets of advice to be given and taken at anytime of the day, or time of life. The kind of book that opens up your heart to check what's really inside.

It will help you to review your intentions. It can either be read from cover to cover or simply dipped into - let your fingers to do the walking, but allow Allah to guide.

Something to keep near your bed or in your bag / pocket.

Poem: Plums

You get red one's
Purples one's
Squishy one's
Hard one's
Old one's
New one's
Mouldy one's
Juicy one's
Sweet one's
Sour one's
Plump one's
Wrinkly one's
But they all make the same sound when they go SPLAT!!

By the Moonbeam Fairy ;O) (9 Feb 06)

Prospective Spouse - South African Dude

Here we go again....

So we (mum, bro and me) were invited to this guy's family home. (Met the family initially in the Mosque). The guy seemed ok, so my parents exchanged numbers and hey-presto they invited us for dinner.

Food was actually quite nice - Ghanian food isn't actually that different to traditional Pakistani cooking. Maybe a slightly different mix of spices, but fundamentally it was pretty much the same stuff.

It would have almost been a good night. I couldn't really fault the family except for the following, and these are things that have been bugging me since I left they're house:

• The father guessed my clothes size. Okay, fair enough my prospective husband may prefer me to wear a Jilbaab in front of all male in-laws - that's fine by me, but I don't want to feel awkward in the presence of what should be a father figure.
• The guy ALWAYS wears the Thobe - what is he trying to hide?!
• Being 3rd / 4th generation from India, they've more or less lost their roots (apart from the cooking) - all they speak is English.

Yet again, I have taken note of a few more "things for preference" in which I would now look for in a spouse:

• I'm the first to admit that I'm somewhat of the Bounty Bar kind (Asian lacking in roots). But even I still have respect for my roots.
• I would prefer my (inshaAllah) children to be multi-ligual (for their own good)
• I don't want any awkwardness in the face of my in-laws (but that's always been the case)
• Attraction plays a major role in my eyes. And I don't blame anyone who tells me they're not interested due to lack of attraction, as long as they're honest.

Following a discussion with my younger but apparently wiser cousin yesterday I have also come to the following conclusion that we should really try to seek out a person's faults before marriage, because if a person is a practicing Muslim; they are likely to hide those faults in front of his spouse & so eventually those faults should never show themselves. And in the worse case scenario, one may actually be able to help their spouse to get over any bad habits - hence the need for a companion.

Parents, brothers and sisters are used to our bad habits, and take them in their stride. Whereas our spouse will take note, and will point them out (this works both ways by the way). That's something else I'm looking for:

• Someone who doesn't let me run riot, and tells me where I may be going wrong & also accepts constructive criticism from me.
• Someone who wants to settle down, but have some fun with their partner too :O)

May Allah help us all find true companionship. Ameen.

Poem: Open Your Eyes

When the Shadows of evil start to cloud your vision
Try and remember the Noble Prophet's (saw) mission
It is to spread the word that there is only one Allah (swt)
And the Prophet, may peace be upon him is his Rasoolullah

To recite La Illaha Ill Allah with conviction
Surely can bring little affliction
For His believers He has promised eternal Jannah
Just be kind to the Ummah - your Sisters and Brothers

"Oh no it's too hard", are the words of Shaitaan
Stop! Hold on to the words in the Holy Qur'an...
For Satan will whisper his waswasa's in your ears
Until it is only his words in front of you appear

Don't forget Shaitaan is merely a Jinn
Surely against him Mankind will win
Allah, the most kind, has made us the best of ALL creation
And the best of us will avoid all false innovation

Listen carefully the message is clear
Islam is Pure; there is nothing to fear
Ignore Shaitaan's whispers and secure your fate
Do it now... Embrace your deen before it's too late

By The Moonbeam Fairy :o)

The Worst Feeling...

Do you know.. the worst feeling is when you break-up with someone, yet you don't know the actual reason why they broke it off. All they've given you to work on is is "It's all me, its not you", in which case you know that it's all you, and not the other person. You're not attractive enough, you don't smile enough.. you don't ever... you won't ever fill the missing blanks.

In this particular relationship, I went against some of my principles - yet this person was too *beep* to give me a real reason so my mind can move on. I've said many things, which I really didn't mean... but subhaanAllah it's Allah's way.. Kunfya kun... be and it will be. In every situation we blame things for not happening, 'He died from a heart attack...'. But all the while, it's part of Allah's plan. Had me and Bibi 'meant to be', I guess it would have been a whole lot easier for us to get married - no family problems, maybe he'd be more attractive to me, maybe maybe maybe. The fact of the matter is... it isn't meant to be, and he's not here with me. Doesn't stop the way I feel tho... InshaAllah, it will become easy as time goes on. Maybe he'll come back, but I'm sure he won't. His final words cut like a knife tho "I've come to terms with it - I know I'm not meant to get married". Like what did I do that was so wrong? did I lie? did I talk about him behind his back? What crime did I commit? Allah hu Alim what's spinning in his head.

As far as I'm aware, I didn't do anything wrong... except listen to hearsay once, and accuse him of lying... But I apologised for that. And I meant it with all my heart.

If anyone knows, please tell me
I need to know why, so set my mind free
I didn't intend to fall in so deep
For someone who had no intention for keeps

Everytime I meet someone new
I think of someone else - who doesn't have a clue
How much I've been hurting for him inside
When all he's worried for is his pride

A girl with drop dead gorgeous looks
Not someone whose head is in THE Book
Allow someone who wants him for Islamic reasons
Who wants to help him clear his treson's.

Then a complaint, this girl won't leave me!
if that's the case.. he shouldn't have broken me
Before I met him, I was as strong as steal
And inside, I have forgotten how to feel.

I've forgotten who I really am
A girl who's into the lastest glam
Who always smiled through her crisis
InshaAllah I'll never loose the will to fight this.

I'm getting the feeling he still wasn't over
The girl who was his 2 year lover
I guess I cannot compete with such a stance
Especially if I'm not worth a second glance.

A simple request for him, from me
Please don't ever let someone give him the key
If their heart isn't really something he wants
For to be heartbroken isn't easy to shunt.

Snippet: A Revert's Story...

XXXX%hotmail.co.uk said at 4:20PM:
how i came to islam? a long story but will tell you in a nutshell

The Moonbeam Fairy said at 4:21PM:
Go on

XXXX%hotmail.co.uk said at 4:21PM:
i had accident about 8rs ago that burned all my skin, chest face head and all of arms,

The Moonbeam Fairy said at 4:22PM:
subhaanAllah u'r ok tho?

XXXX%hotmail.co.uk said at 4:22PM:
I had a muslim friend that got burnt with me, and at that time i was already living on my own, my muslim friend had his family visiting him and i had none i kept hearing them say "allahu akbar" many times and wondered what it was? His father also came to me and i just burst into tears coz at the point of my life when i needed my parents they werent there nobody to hold my hand and assure me thing will be ok. So i burst into tears to my fathers friend i told the father if he could be my fahter too even just for a while he said ok and i held his hand as tight as i could coz i felt so empty and worthless. I asked him what it was that allahu akbar they were saying

The Moonbeam Fairy said at 4:25PM:
subhanAllah

XXXX%hotmail.co.uk said at 4:25PM:
His friend came over and started explaining what it wasd he said to me i have hope and that allah can do anything he mentioned kun fayakun...be and it is... i said to him that Allah will be the greatest if he can pull me through this and i said to myself if you (god) pull me through this i will amend my ways and spreas your words for you... after that they went as it was getting late, i spent the whole night contemplating about my life and that my situation could not be any worse. I spent two weeks in adenbrooks hospital in the burns unit section. When i came out i was still very unwell, i remember the doctor telling me i would have a scar all my life- you can imagined that would break anyone. All i had was that little hope of the word of that brother said
he said Allah is the greatest and kun fayakun,,,be and it is... my muslim friends family invited me and offered to look after me. I stayed at their house for two weeks and in that 2 weeks was the path that would lead me to allahi mean i discovered so much but most of all i discovered zam zam water that was given to me by one of my friends sister i used the zam zam with that little words of hope i had from that brother. I poured the zam zam into my face and drank some of it everyday every morning i would check in the mirror for miracle results but i had two one week of diaapointment as nothing seem to happen. One morning i woke up and lost all hope. I went to my usual routine to look into the mirror and to my suprise my burnt skin started falling off and underneath i can see new skin as if it was never burnt. I couldt believe my eyes i looked in the mirror and said to my self... Allah really is the greatest... i got the family together and we sat down,,, and i said Allah is the greatest and i would like to declare to all of you as my witness... ashadu allah ilaha il allah wa ashadun ana muhamadr rasoolalah..

That was the first day of my life....

South Woodford Mosque

Don't you just love kids?! SubhaanAllah, went to South Woodford Masjid today to meet a potential. In the next room in which I was waiting, there was a children's class taking place. The serenity of the class was at a level that cannot be described. If you ever get a chance to experience it, visit the Masjid on any Sunday at around 11ish. Your heart will adore the purity and the cleanliness of the air within the mosque in the presence of the children - probably due to their innocence and purity.

The kid's were learning Arabic, and when the teacher asked "What is this?" - pointing at a picture of a snake, they all responded with 'Tharboot', all harmonious and all correct. By the way - the kids were toddlers, from all cultural backgrounds!! Super Duper I hear you cry!

Even better - When the kid were asked where the "Tharboot" came from - Who made it? The children replied "Allah". Quality!

It's great, and did you know; studies have proven to show that Languages should be taught to chidren at a younger age when their brains are thirsty for knowledge. Not in their teens when their minds are polluted with the likes of Eastenders & Corrie, and all they want to hear is the lastest in hip hop. The best time for children to memorise the Qur'an is also at this age when their hearts are also pure, which brings me to this link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2733290301686560541&q=child+reciting+the+Quran&hl=en

Beautiful hey? No words can describe this. It's actually the best recitation of the Qur'an I have come across.

May Allah guide us all so He gives us our Book of Deeds in our right hands, and help us to correct previous mistakes; and the strength to repent for our sins. Ameen.

Poems: Flutterby my Butterfly

Guess I've always been confidently insecure - strong on the outside, and soft in the middle. I suppose that's my way of making sure that the person will be there thru the good and the bad times. So I'll push them away as far as possible. Maybe I pushed too far? or maybe this guy weren't mine in the first place.

It's been a year since I first met Bibi. And I still feel the same as when I first met him. It's unfortunate he didn't feel the same. Tho, I definatly give him credit for trying. I don't think time was wasted; I have become an even stronger person then before, at a time I thought I was weak.

I would advise anyone who is looking to get married with the following;

• If you think you can grow with the person - in all ways possible, then go for it. And when you think things may be getting tough - try to remember why you got together in the first place. The things you like about the person.
• Looks fade, so don't always look for 100% attraction and attraction doesn't have to be physical either. But if you feel you won't be faithful to an unattractive spouse, then so be it. From what I have been told however, the person whom you marry whether eye candy or rock candy, upon marriage, is the most beautiful person in your eyes and that's what matters. For beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't want to be a burden. The first of a string of poems I sent Bibi following the evening when told me he wasn't physical attracted to me. For the first time during my search for companionship, I truely thought I had found someone similar to myself - Aqeedah, thought-process, family orientation. Most of all, he had a good heart. But when he told me his hinderance - that he wasn't attracted, that was the first time my heart shattered but at this point, I wasn't in love. I was just happy (before he told me the news that is). Or maybe I did love him - I certainly loved his character, and his good heart. Just didn't know him enough to be 'in love' with him?

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet" - [Plato - Greek Philisopher]

Don't want to be aburden. 12/12/2005 11:49

To: bibi@xxx.com
From: moonbeamfairy@blogspot.com

I've been thinking for a while now
That you're heart will never be mine
Cos my looks you don't appreciate
You need someone you think is 'so fine'

So now my beautiful butterflyI will let you go,
Just promise me you'll try
To bring up a family in the deen
But most of all, marry someone with whom you are 100% keen.

Because love starts with attraction at first sight
Its something that cannot be forced with all your might
Unless you get to know someone over some time
Which is something that is neither yours nor mine

I do not wish to force something upon you
Something that you don't really want to do
I do not want to be a burden on someone
Especially the one whose meant to be my companion

It's unfortunate that it's come to an end like this
My time with you I will surely miss.
Always, no matter what,
keep a smile on your face
And always, in Qadr of Allah must you keep faith.

Take it e'zi. Peace be upon you. Flutter by, my butterfly, FLY.

Little did I realise his heart was better then I had first imagined. His failure to comply was deeper, more personal and less shallow then mere good-looks. Unfortunately his home life was somewhat less then fruity which resulted in disconnection. In response, he wrote:

Don't want to be a curtain 13/12/2005 11:10

To: moonbeamfairy@blogspot.com
From: Bibi@xxx.com

Ive been silly for a while now
That my heart is stupid and mine
My Looks are dead and you appreciate
I'm flying around, but you keep me in line.

So I leap inthe air like a butterfly
Fall straight on my face from the sky
Stand up straight and hold my deen Im a family man,
with religion and keen

Allah sends care and love, for your sight
Cor blimey you saw me and had a freight !
Time will tell time it will tell C'mon love ring that bell !!
Force yourself upon me and do I'll return the favour and cum to you

Burden burden burden has to be on someone,
Come on barbie lets go party ah ah ah, your my companion !!
Its a shame my nose is big like this,
If it disappeared surely ud miss

But I will always have a smile on my face,
And I thank Allah that my teeth require no brace.
I'd flutter away like a butterfly,
but you know i'd fall from the sky !!!

(extra verse)Fatty fatty ratty thats who i am, tinsel town galore love it all the time,

Blackie blackie blackie thats not me, c'mon barbie start that party, and bemine !!! ; O)

Hmm... I think maybe he wanted someone 'like me'. Just not me.

Be my Purdah 13/12/2005 14:29

To: Bibi@XXX.co.uk
From: moonbeamfairy@blogspot.com

Well my darling you've done something now
Started off a roller coster ride, and I'm asking how?
Did I come across someone so crazy
I'm sure in years to come you'll never cease to amaze me

To keep hold of the deen we both surely must
And fulfil this fellowship, and base it on trust
But my concern is one - you don't want to be a curtain?
Well a Purdah for me, you shall be for certain

I will need you to protect me, my heart and soul
But I am not someone whom you can easily mould
I have my own character, parts of which you will hate
But sooner or later we will both realise, we can't live without our bestmate

You must also realise I come from a family of love
One whom I wish to help - for it was He from up above
Who put me on this Earth, and gave me a treat
And also told me the gates to Jannah are under your mothers feet

Don't get me wrong, for your Wife I intend to be
When we both say 'Kabul', to my heart I'll give you the key
I will try to help you fulfil all your dreams the best I can
long as you promise this is forever, and you'll only be my man

(Extra Verse)Fatty Fatty Fatty, No you cannot be, The deen does not allow this to happen you see It is sunnah to keep yourself ready and fit

Just in case disaster may hit

To: moonbeamfairy@blogspot.com
From: bibi@xxx.com

Blankty blank, check book and pen
Roller coster has started so pick up your pen !
I'll amaze you and act real crazy
But remember this at times im lazy

Hold our deen we shall do and must
Begin our journey all based on trust
Your concern is me being drawn like a curtain
Come over luv and open me up and then ull be certain!!

Protect you and my family with my life and soul
Kiss you and caress you against the wall !!!
Haram haram you may shout
But in your mind you have no doubt.

Love your family it's a must,
Help me love them too till I bust
My wife must love the pizza crust
And then after that comes the lust !!

My wife my love you shall be
Hold onto that key while I go for a weee!!
My pudding my love fulfil my dream
Im your man, and dnt forget the coffee with cream.(Extra extra read all about it!)

Wobble wobble toil and trouble
Look at me im your double !!

I have no comment. I feel like crap. I miss him. And I want to be with him. I'm restraining myself not to text or email. When things feel wrong. They just feel wrong. I did my Istikhara, and I still don't understand why he's gone and I can't let go.

Might I suggest; if you're looking for marriage not a relationship. Act fast. Don't procrastinate and allow your thoughts to hinder what might be a good thang. At the end of the day, Allah knows best. But if you allow months to pass before you act, you may as well say good-bye from day one.