Prospective Spouse - South African Dude

Here we go again....

So we (mum, bro and me) were invited to this guy's family home. (Met the family initially in the Mosque). The guy seemed ok, so my parents exchanged numbers and hey-presto they invited us for dinner.

Food was actually quite nice - Ghanian food isn't actually that different to traditional Pakistani cooking. Maybe a slightly different mix of spices, but fundamentally it was pretty much the same stuff.

It would have almost been a good night. I couldn't really fault the family except for the following, and these are things that have been bugging me since I left they're house:

• The father guessed my clothes size. Okay, fair enough my prospective husband may prefer me to wear a Jilbaab in front of all male in-laws - that's fine by me, but I don't want to feel awkward in the presence of what should be a father figure.
• The guy ALWAYS wears the Thobe - what is he trying to hide?!
• Being 3rd / 4th generation from India, they've more or less lost their roots (apart from the cooking) - all they speak is English.

Yet again, I have taken note of a few more "things for preference" in which I would now look for in a spouse:

• I'm the first to admit that I'm somewhat of the Bounty Bar kind (Asian lacking in roots). But even I still have respect for my roots.
• I would prefer my (inshaAllah) children to be multi-ligual (for their own good)
• I don't want any awkwardness in the face of my in-laws (but that's always been the case)
• Attraction plays a major role in my eyes. And I don't blame anyone who tells me they're not interested due to lack of attraction, as long as they're honest.

Following a discussion with my younger but apparently wiser cousin yesterday I have also come to the following conclusion that we should really try to seek out a person's faults before marriage, because if a person is a practicing Muslim; they are likely to hide those faults in front of his spouse & so eventually those faults should never show themselves. And in the worse case scenario, one may actually be able to help their spouse to get over any bad habits - hence the need for a companion.

Parents, brothers and sisters are used to our bad habits, and take them in their stride. Whereas our spouse will take note, and will point them out (this works both ways by the way). That's something else I'm looking for:

• Someone who doesn't let me run riot, and tells me where I may be going wrong & also accepts constructive criticism from me.
• Someone who wants to settle down, but have some fun with their partner too :O)

May Allah help us all find true companionship. Ameen.